Success!

It's nice to be able to follow up a post about cheating on my diet/exercise with a post about a successful day. I ate healthily today, came home, cooked dinner (meatloaf, lima beans, rice & gravy, and peaches), and took Colson for a walk. I put everything up and Geoff helped clean the kitchen, took a nice long bath and read some short stories I hadn't picked up in a long time. A successful day.
And still, the doldrums. Tomorrow I have two doctors' appointments. In the morning, I want to make certain I voice my concerns about counseling (or lack thereof) to my counselor. I feel like I get no feedback or assistance with my issues, and I really want some help -- for the money I'm spending, some good help! I am also going to talk to my other doctor about visiting an actual psychiatrist. I think it would be good, since I'm on psychiatric medications and have had a psychiatric diagnosis, to visit an actual psychiatrist. Call me old fashioned, but a med degree vs a PhD just holds better clout in this sort of situation.
Not much to report other than this. Just a boring, but successful, day.

Cheating

This is not about what you might think. Today at lunch I decided I was so frustrated with everything else going on that I was going to cheat on lunch and have Chick-fil-A. I just wanted something I shouldn't have just because I shouldn't have it. This is the way I used to react a lot of the time when I was bothered by something. Funny thing is, the only one who got cheated by me eating what I did was me. I didn't enjoy it as much as I have in the past.
So we're only like three days into dieting/exercising and instead of walking a dog I'm sitting on my butt typing. I asked my sister-in-law to help me out in these situations, but I really am okay tonight. I haven't given up, but I am giving myself a day to cool off from last night.
Anyway, I've talked a lot today, to my mom and my sister, and I don't really feel much like writing at the moment. I have some volunteer work that needs doing and I hope to get to that tonight, but other than that, I'm crashing a little bit. I've got a project in mind that I hope to get started on this weekend, and I'm going to let myself think about what I need in order to accomplish it, but other than that, I just want to chill...

Stone (last but CERTAINLY not least)

How neat is it that I am aunt to my sister's daughter and my brother's son? This little guy is all smiles and laughter, a true joy to have around. He's such a neat blend of his mom and dad. I can't wait to hear him really start to laugh as he grows up - I want to know if he has an Eddie Murphy laugh like his daddy.

Kevin and Shelby weren't quite as prepared for this whole baby thing I think, but Stone seems to be the perfect baby for them. He's so laid back and easy going, but they're probably reading this and laughing. In the beginning everyone said that Mercy was so much more demanding, but I've heard tell from my folks that Stone's beginning to assert himself a little more. Still, what an adorable little boy, my nephew Livingstone.

Mercy

Mercy and I have had a bunch of bonding experiences - baths apparently are no exception. I remember giving her a bath when she was only about 5-6 weeks old, and here we are together taking a bath at Aunt Susan's and Uncle Richard's in the jacuzzi tub. Boy Mercy loved that (although Geoff says in this picture I look like I'm enjoying it more).
I was there the day Mercy was born. There is something very significant about my connection to my sister's daughter. Gini even sometimes says that she had my child, because Mercy and I share some similarities. I mean come on - the child's first word was "puh-puh" (puppy). I became an aunt when I married Geoff, but I became Aunt Minnah when Mercy came into the world.

Sara

This picture isn't quite as recent as today. It was taken back in May, but close enough. Sara's a total beauty! She makes me think of snow white with her red lips and dark hair and eyes. Her uncle Geoff is completely enamored with her. Since she came along, he talks more about having a daughter than a son.
I was there three days after Sara was born. I was there again when she was back in the hospital as an infant. My first neice, she has a close place in my heart. Stubborn and willful, she's gonna be a handful, but what a beautiful sweet little thing she is when she's not throwing a tantrum!

Matthew

What can I say about Matthew. My first phone conversation with this little guy was his calling to tell me about seeing horses at a farm. He said (and I quote) "Horse. Pee Pee. Poo Poo." He hasn't outgrown the humor of bodily functions, but then neither has his uncle. What impresses me most about Matthew is his mechanical mind and determination. Instead of wanting to be a pilot, he wants to build planes. And he could too. He's smart and he's a mess, probably why I just adore him!

Updated Pics - Jonathan

It's about time I update some photos of the neices and nephews. I'll see what's cute that I haven't put up.

Jonathan is eight now, and getting to be more of a big kid every day. He's a lot like his uncle Geoff. He wants to climb every tree, visit every stream, and he is dying to go canoeing! I keep telling Geoff we'd better hurry up and get started on our own family, but on the bright side, Jonathan will be big enough to babysit our children by the time we have some.

Defending the Alpha Position

Sometimes it is tough to be the owner of two pit bulls. They don't rough me up by biting me like some people would probably think. Once Colson got so excited to get back into the house that he wrapped my arm around the posts on the entryway to my porch - I ended up in ER. Nothing was broken, but I was pretty swollen and hurt.
Another time I got a black eye - my only shiner ever! He just bumped me in the right spot to blacken it. And then there was the time one of the neighbor kids decided to throw a stick for the dogs and clobbered me in the head with it. I know that wasn't technically the dogs' fault, but it was a related injury.
And as I sit here typing this post, I have a throbbing tooth and a bloody lip. Soozie this time, bumped my tooth with her hard head, splitting my lip open. If I still have a headache this bad tomorrow, I'm going to the dentist. If I lose my front tooth over this, I'm not going to be too happy! But these are the perils of pit bull ownership I guess...

Dang! It Feels Good to be a Poet!

It feels good to be writing again. I've been into E.E. Cummings lately, and I think it shows. That and my post-modernist training, which I'm still coming to grips with. I love structure and syntax and twists and turns and strange words with double entendres and everything about language. Just love it. Believe it or not, this is a love poem. That's as much as I'll give away. I'd love to see commentary on it - of any sort - good, bad, or ugly. I'm interested in a, whether or not anyone's reading this other than my sister; and b, what you think...

(Non) SENSE

The smell of wanton sulfer -
his careless gentility -
an odor of undoing
and taste of starlit apple

he has a touch so malignantly
sagacious
(both alarming and familiar)

and still -
on the (almost
imperceivable) pauses
between comingandgoing

sober intoxication - and
inopportunity -
share between petals,
the thorns