Something for Me

I thought I would share my excitement here on my blog - I'm doing something for me! Monday I am starting a program with a personal trainer for the next six months. My goal is to go from a size 12 to a size 8. I figured this was a better goal than worrying about weight because I'm sure I will lose some, but I will probably gain some too.
I am doing a class at AC Fitness called "Body Pump" where you do both cardio and strength training at the same time. I am soooo excited about getting started with the class and the personal trainer. I know I'm going to wear out really quickly for the next few weeks, but I can't wait to see some results. When I start losing the weight and getting toned up, I'll be sure to post some here. I want to take some before and after pics each month too!
I have been wanting to start an exercise program, but the real wake up call came with the first time on the doctor's scale in a long time. Years ago I swore I would never let myself get past 150 (that was high school). I passed it and kept going, so I'm ready to work my way back. My target weight is between 124 and 135. That's based on appropriate goals for my build/bone mass, etc. I haven't weighed that little in years and years, and I am looking forward to being that healthy.
I also figure this is the time for me to establish this kind of routine for myself, before children! And we don't want to put off children for too much longer, so I'm going to get myself ready. I am sooo excited about Monday. I'll do a post after my first week or something to let you know how it goes.

Hold Thou My Hand

At my great-grandmother's funeral this week, my sister sang one of Ahda's old favorite hymns. It was one I wasn't familiar with, but I found the words to it and thought I'd post them here.

Hold Thou my hand; so weak I am, and helpless,
I dare not take one step wtihout Thy aid;
Hold Thou my hand; for then, O loving Savior,
No dread of ill shall make my soul afraid.

Hold Thou my hand, and closer, closer draw me
To Thy deal self - my hope, my joy, my all;
Hold Thou my hand, lest haply I should wander,
And, missing Thee, my trembling feet should fall.

Hold Thou my hand; the way is dark before me
Without the sunlight of Thy face divine;
But when by faith I catch its radiant glory,
What heights of joy, what rapturous songs are mine!

Hold Thou my hand, that when I reach the margin
Of that lone river Thou didst cross for me,
A heavenly light may flash along its waters,
And every wave like crystal bright shall be.

The hymn was written by Fanny Crosby. Blind from 6 weeks old, Fanny wrote over 8,000 hymns in her lifetime, including many familiar ones, but her personal favorite was "Blessed Assurance." It is interesting to go back and read this hymn she wrote (Hold Thou my Hand) realizing that she was blind.

I think that the version of this song that Gini sang was a bit different, because I remember some words from the one Gini sang that I didn't find in this hymn text, but I'm pretty sure they are related works. If not, oh well, it's a beautiful old hymn anyway.

For my part, I am only hoping that I do not have to attend any more funerals for a good while. Although it was not hard to see Ahda leave this world at 103, I am rather content to have the rest of my family remain here on earth for a good while longer.

An Elegy for Uncle Jimmy

The Throne Room

Meredith L. Peel

I traveled to the Throne of God
bearing a burden of fiercest love,
and having loved and lost, I asked:
“What, my God, do you desire?”

Coupled with a fiery breath,
swift and loud came the reply:
“RIGHTEOUSNESS,” my God said.
My face burned; my heart fell.

Before a judge holy as He,
none could stand to plead his case.
Turning homeward, burden heavy,
His voice followed: “Ask again.”

Again to the Throne I turned,
with heavy heart, and trembling voice.
But once again I made my plea:
“What, my King, do you desire?”

“Faithfulness” - a gentler breath -
yet strong enough to carry off
those faithful ones I’d stowed away
within my burden of fierce love.

Once more I turned toward my home,
a lighter burden on my back.
To my surprise, pursuing me,
He called, “Ask once again, My child.”

And turning to the Throne I asked:
“What, my Lord, do you desire?”
A gentle whisper, His reply:
“Reconciliation.”

And at this word all who remained
in the great burden of my love
compelled me forward to His throne
to be released upon His feet.

And when at last I turned to go,
beneath my feet I saw a fire.
I cried out, fearing, for those souls
I had entrusted to His care.

Before my question, His reply:
“I desire that ALL of Mine
be reconciled, and be refined.
For holiness awaits all who
withstand My holy fire.”

My heart now still, His message clear,
my burden now at home with Him,
I wept with joy and sang my thanks,
ready now to be refined.

And passing over that great fire,
His spirit spoke these words to me:
“The heat is great,
My love still greater,”
and heart at peace, I returned home.

This Mystery

Having heard repeatedly that I need to get back to blogging, even though the book study has gone on hiatus, I am back at the drawing board. Fortunately, something of potential interest to my few readers has presented itself to me, so I pass on the mystery to you.
Sometimes we end up with connections to a person we have never met and will never meet through weird coincidences. I once bought a neat looking old book with a handwritten note in it stating who it belonged to and that she had died by her own hand. Flipping through it later I discovered that a clipping of her obituary was enclosed. A neat bit of history purchased for a few cents at a garage sale. I'm not even certain if the folks I bought it from were themselves connected to the woman. They lived next door to my great uncle in Baton Rouge, but I don't think they're still in his neighborhood, so I guess I will never know.
Of course, it's somewhat silly to say I'll never know. I suppose in this day and age, I choose not to know. The world is open to me. With this woman's obituary, I have an even greater opportunity to investigate her life than ever before.
Years later I purchased a suit of bedroom furniture at a used furniture store, and while moving it, I discovered something in the chest of drawers. We had all of the drawers pulled out and back inside the furniture, I found a certificate for a $25 US savings bond. I've sold the furniture since then, but I put that savings bond somewhere. I would love to try and find who it belongs to. If I remember correctly it was dated in the 60s. Someone might enjoy having that bond given back to them if I could ever find out who it belongs to...
But onto this mystery. Shortly before graduating from Samford, I was in the library looking through the discard books that are free to a good home at Auburn but cost 50 cents at Samford. I picked up a 1962 (first edition) copy of Steinbeck's Travels with Charley. Fresh off my thesis on Steinbeck's East of Eden, I was enamored with this author and I thought I would enjoy having an original print of this book. Truth is, the first time I've opened it was a few days ago. I had just finished James Herriot's All Creatures Great and Small and wanted a similar type of read. This seemed the logical choice.
Aside from the fact that I am thoroughly enjoying the book, I also unfolded a new mystery when I opened my copy of the book. In both the front and back cover, someone has handwritten the name Quimby in blue ink. This by itslef wouldn't be all that interesting, but inside was a postcard to a Mrs. W. E. Quimby of Blueberry Lane in Birmingham, AL. I know just where that is. The postcard is from the Saskatchewan Museum of Natural History in Canada and is postmarked 1963. It's from someone named Buff.
Maybe some day I'll trace this mystery and find out who these people are. Today I'm just using it to tell a story and take up space on my blog...

The Normal Human Life

I have already addressed my personal issues with the whole idea that conversations with God occur mostly in the heart of the believer, and I’ve also touched briefly on the idea that man was created expressly for communication with God. Now I would like to investigate one idea further.

On page 18, Willard states that “the normal human life God intended for us” involves “God’s indwelling his people through personal presence and fellowship.” This gets into two basic ideas that Willard will investigate more deeply further along in his book. The first is that the example that we are given to follow for our manhood is Christ; and the second is that nothing in creation exists apart from the thought and spoken word of God.

I know these are very intellectual concepts, but I’m hoping that in some small way I can make them a bit more understandable. Let’s take the first idea – Christ is the perfect example of what it means to be a man. On the surface, this seems like a truth that all believers recognize and apply in their daily living. After all, isn’t that the goal of every true believer – to do what Jesus would do? But look at the idea a bit more deeply, and I think we will sense a bit of a defensiveness against the concept. The point could be made that Christ was 100% divine as well, fully God and fully man indwelling a single human form. I think that the point that Willard is making here is that Christ, God and man indwelling a single human body, is exactly what God would have EACH of us to be. When we say that Christ acts within us, that we have Jesus in our hearts, that we belong to God even, we become vessels prepared for God’s indwelling. And this is perfection – what Willard refers to as “the normal human life God intended for us.”

The second idea that this gets at is that nothing exists apart from the thought and spoken word of God. Willard will go more in depth on this idea later – referring to creation and the fact that God called into being (with spoken word) each object in existence. This idea of nothing existing apart from the mind of God is one I think we will not fully be able to grasp in our finite minds, because it is about God’s infinitude. It is a concept that confused me as a teen, because logic would move us towards the ever popular “I think therefore I am” – so do we exist only in the mind of God? This calls into question the very reality of our existence (we are a figment of God’s imagination). However, I think the only proper thing to realize when we get to this point in our musings is that the mind of God is infinitely greater than the finite mind of man. While what I imagine has no substance or structure, in fact, ceases to exist the moment it slips from my mind, what God imagines IS.

Anyway, that’s a lot of heady stuff for this morning. I am hoping it might instigate a bit of conversation or thought…

Still Reading

I am torn between going ahead and commenting on what I've read recently a bit further into the book, or sticking with Chapter One until we exhaust it. I have read ahead some and jumped back some, trying to let the information in one chapter influence my re-reading of a second chapter. It occurred to me that I ought to read this book this way because Willard answered my first blogged question shortly past the point that I had read to when I wrote the blog.

For now I will try to stick with a discussion of the first chapter before moving on.
Let me say this, I don't always contaminate a book with a lot of hi-lighting and handwritten notes, but this book begs to be marked in. I find when I go back to blog on a point, I need to have the hi-lighter guide my way through all of the script to find the points I wanted to write on. So I am going back over my hi-lighted points of chapter one, and then will begin to address the discussion questions (or those I feel would be good for a blog) at the end of the chapter.