Tagged Twice

Summer tagged me asking for 10 random things on blogger, and Shelby tagged me for 25 random things on facebook. So I'm making it easy for myself and re-using material. Don't bore yourself by reading both posts...

1. I have about a million and a half pet peeves. No one in the world knows this better than my husband who makes sure to hit on at least one peeve a day so that he can hear me say, "that drives me nuts!" Among my peeves are leaving cabinet doors open, exiting out of a door marked entrance and chewing anything in my general presence.

2. Sometimes I have weird urges just to say words out loud for no reason other than that I think they sound funny - like Budapest. Heck, I don't even know if I spelled that right, but seriously, say it. It'll make you smile.

3.I have a love/hate relationship with rules. I drive the speed limit and exactly the speed limit and when I'm in a car with someone who isn't doing this, I let them know constantly that they're breaking a law, that a car is not a toy, and that laws are there for our protection. However, this little thing I'm filling out right now has a set of rules at the top which I will be disregarding. I had no idea I had 25 people I could tag, but come on folks, if you want to do this do it, if not, I'm not going to impose on you.

4. I have read the Harry Potter series, all seven books at least a dozen times each. Every time I finish book seven I feel frustrated for days because I'm missing reading them. So I always know it will only be a matter of months before I go back and pick up book one again. However, these aren't even my favorite books. If I had to list my faves, there would be a tie between The Once and Future King by T.H. White and A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving.

5. I cannot get a feeling one way or the other about whether I"m going to have a boy or girl in August. One night I dream of Everett, the next of Claire. Meanwhile I'm getting anxious to know so I can sit and talk to him or her while he or she grows inside me!

6. On the topic of babies - my stomach looks like one serious war zone! I am so sick of the constant injections but I know why I have to do them.

7. Here's a random fact about my husband, Geoff. He has these giant jars - one of which is the largest test tube ever from the biology department surplus at Auburn. He goes out to swamps periodically and picks up fish and plants and shrimp and snails and puts together these self-sustaining ecosystems. They're pretty interesting, but no one loves them as much as our cat, Irving, who sits and watches the fish all day long.

8. I cooked and ate brussels sprouts for dinner the other night and they were not that bad. For those who know me best (Kevin, Gini) you know that I used to be the world's pickiest eater. So it's a miracle that I even tried the things. And that I thought that I could eat them again - well wow!

9. My husband is sitting here beside me making faces while I type this list.

10. Anybody already bored with this list, because I'm having trouble coming up with things to write?

Nursery Sneak Preview

For my birthday which is tomorrow, mom and I continued our tradition of checking out a new Cirque du Soleil show. This year we saw Kooza in Atlanta. We also spent some time shopping for maternity clothes and I am so excited about all that we were able to get!

When we came back to my house, mom spent a few days helping me pull together my nursery. I've been working some on my own for a bit as well, and I'm dying to show everyone how cute it is turning out! For some reason, my digital camera was totally out of battery power, so I had to settle for pictures from my phone. I'll update the pictures in a few days with better ones from the digital camera.

So from the doorway, the picture to the right is the view into the nursery. Above the bed is the verse "Every good and perfect gift comes from above." Our "theme" if you will, is mint chocolate chip ice cream. We needed an accent color to go with the green and white nursery rhyme toile print that I chose about a year ago.

I kept thinking I'd just use pink or blue when I found out the sex of the baby, but the brown is great! Note that the wall hangings (nursery rhyme prints) are all in blue. However, I have the exact same prints in pink in the closet. So we're ready whether it's Martha Claire or Will Everett. I put the blue up first, though, because I know how much Geoff is hoping for a boy.

So above you have the changing area and the reading nook. We're still going to have to work on covering the rocker, but I found some fabric that I already had that's a good washable neutral. Add some brown piping and we're in business!

And finally - for the main event! This beautiful crib turned out so much better than I dreamed! I can literally sit all day in there and just stare at all the beautiful things and just wait and wait for this baby to come!

Be Careful Little Eyes...

I heard this song on the Christian radio the other day - "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. The lyrics were so powerful, the song so powerful, that I sat and listened to the whole thing. When it was over I turned off the car and just thought about these words:

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

So often lately I've been reminded of what an amazing responsibility Geoff and I are being given to parent this child growing inside me. The second line of this song was just overpowering "Be careful little feet where you go, for it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow." I keep thinking of the book "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard and praying that God will continue to guide my steps, since it is indeed the little feet behind me that are sure to follow.

As silly as this sounds, Mary had a little lamb also makes me think of this amazing responsibility. My little lamb will go where I go, will do what I do, will say what I say. I hope that I am practicing now the type of habits and behaviors that I want my child to mimic in the oh so near future.

Anyway, I would encourage you to check out the Casting Crowns song above if you're not already familiar with it. Even if you don't have children, the song has a powerful message about how easily we slip and fall off of this narrow road that leads us to God's kingdom.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

No, I'm not talking about my ever growing belly (although Summer would probably love for me to start posting week-by-week pictures - maybe starting in 2nd trimester, SV). I was on the phone for about an hour trying to catch up on the last three years of life with my best friend from high school. Cher's been living in Germany for four years and we haven't talked much or even emailed during that time, but it's funny how with some folks, you can just pick up the phone and it's like time hasn't passed and you're the same good old friends you've always been.
Well, in discussing our 10 year high school reunion coming up this summer, Cher said something about not having changed much, or did I think I'd changed much. And I said I thought that I was pretty much the same as she would remember me. My husband butted in at that point scoffing at this and told me I had indeed changed - and a lot.
We went on to talk about this (changes) at lunch today, and he told me about how much I'd changed just in the past two years. He went on to say that he felt like I had changed so much for the better and that any of my friends from high school would be impressed and pleased to see that the person I have become and am becoming with each new day was such an improvement over who I was. It was a nice thing to hear from your husband. Especially when each day brings with it a bigger belly and wider hips and more bruises from all these horrible injections and sometimes it's nice to be appreciated even if you don't feel you LOOK your best.
It got me thinking about who I was vs. who I am now and I decided my husband is right. I think I was trying to reassure Cher, who probably knew me better than anyone else in the world in my high school years, that I was still the friend she loved and knew so well. And I am. Just as she is still the same old Cher to me. But Geoff is right - I've changed so much. If you had told me then that this is who I would become I wouldn't have believed you. Because I was in a hole in high school. Thank God I had friends like Cher who could look past all of my foolishness and see the hidden potential, and thank God I had parents who despite hitting their breaking point a few times didn't give up on me. I had so many issues with depression and faith and life and family and boys and teenage angst. I know we all go through all of that and we're all relieved when we're past teenagehood. But I sometimes forget that I have more to be relieved about now than some.
Of all the changes in the past 10 years, one supersedes them all. In my senior year of high school I finally stopped playing with God and got serious. I committed my life to Christ. And though the past few years have not been perfect and my faith not 100% resolute 100% of the time, I know that I am closer to God today than 10 years ago and that he has brought me out of so much and blessed me with so much.
So, Geoff is right, I have changed. God knew me from my formation in my mother's womb, just as He knows my baby now. And God saw the road I would follow before I took my first step. And God gave me friends along the way (like Cher) that were able to see a little of where He would lead me and believe in me and encourage me along the way. And little by little I am becoming a woman that I hope He is pleased to call His daughter. A prayer I will one day pray for this son or daughter of mine will be that God will work every day to turn him or her into His son or daughter too.

There's an Alien in my Womb...

These pictures are going to be very difficult to make out. Just note that they're all the same scale, so at the very least, you can appreciate that the little baby is growing at a rapid rate.

Picture #1 (above) at 5 weeks 6 days shows a tiny little bright speck (the baby's heart) between the two x's. We could see it pulsing - like a light bulb growing bright then dim then bright then dim. It was a neat experience. I thought it would make it seem real and make me less afraid that the baby wouldn't make it, but as neat as it was, it still didn't quite sink in that we were basically out of the woods.
Picture #2 didn't turn out very clearly, but note that this week (6 weeks 6 days - exactly one week after the first picture), I could make out two distinct chambers of the heart. I could also kind of see a hint of leg and arm buds (I think). The heartbeat was very strong and fast and the nurse suggested that I go ahead and schedule the exit interview with my doctor for the following week, because in her opinion the baby was out of the woods.

And finally - today - officially 8 weeks. Can you make out the little gummy bear? At least, that's what he or she looks like in this picture. A big head with some dark eyes and little tiny arms and legs. The baby is shown here from the side facing downward (if you need help figuring out this picture). Today we saw four distinct chambers of the heart which was beating strongly and clear. We had our final appointment with the ART fertility clinic and before we were released were told to breathe a big sigh of relief and know that we had less than a 5% chance of miscarriage - as good as it's going to get before we hold the baby in our arms in August.

So this was the last picture I can post of the alien in my womb until our 12 week ultrasound, so about a month from now. At that point the baby will look just like a baby should and will be 3 to 4 inches long, so I think I'll be able to show him or her to you without so many pointers in how to view the picture. For the meantime, I thought you would enjoy seeing our little gummy bear (although it's bigger than a grape so technically for a gummy bear, it's a big gummy bear)!

Seven Weeks Plus...

I had my seven week ultrasound on Monday. See, going through fertility treatments has its advantages - like getting to see my baby every week for the first little bit. It certainly reassures me after my miscarriage to be able to see that little baby grow and grow and his or her little heart ticking stronger and stronger. So it's a little bittersweet that everything's going so well, because my fertility doctor has decided the chance of miscarriage has dropped so low that he's ready to release me to the regular OB.
Geoff and I go for our last appointment and Ultrasound with the ART clinic on Tuesday, at 8 weeks. I already have an appointment the week after with my local doctor, so hopefully they will keep monitoring me closely like the fertility folks have.
I have told some of you how much work it takes every day to make sure this little baby gets everything he or she needs to survive. Each morning I take a prenatal vitamin and baby aspirin. The aspirin helps to thin my blood due to my high levels of something called anti-nuclear antibodies which attack my good blood cells. Apparently these ANAs may have kept a good bloodflow from getting to my womb during the first pregnancy. Also each morning I give myself an injection of Heparin (for the same purpose as the aspirin I think) in my stomach. My stomach looks like a war zone - it's absolutely covered in bruises. Because of this, I'm already in maternity clothes (tight clothing causes the bruising to be worse). Finally in the morning I use a gel (take a guess where this goes) that provides extra progesterone.
In the afternoon/evening, my sister-in-law (who is a labor and delivery nurse) comes over and gives me my progesterone injection (because the gel doesn't deliver as much as I need). This is an IM shot (goes in a muscle) so I get it in my hip. The needle is an inch and a half long and the progesterone comes in gel form so it's kind of difficult to inject. Luckily I've only had to give it to myself twice before. When I do it, it goes in my thigh and makes my whole leg hurt for days after. Also in the afternoon/evening I give myself another injection of the Heparin in my stomach. And with my dinner I take Metformin which does something to block my insulin and helps nourish the baby somehow.
Anyway, it took me so long to write all of that up that I've got to go finish getting ready for work in a hurry, but I thought I'd just tell you all of what is going into getting this baby through to August. I don't know how long I'm going to have to do all of this, but I do know it will all be worth it.